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The sun is an evil celestial demon.  It tricks us into worshipping it with its warm alluring rays and bright primary color.  Don't be fooled.  It wants to destroy us and is hell bent on world domination.  Have no fear, I've worked in my lab with a team of skin scientists and retired astronaut Brock Sternum to create what we think is our best sunscreen yet!

‚ÄčDON'T DELAY

PROCEEDS FROM EVERY SUPER MEGA SEXY HOT BOTTLE BENEFIT OUR CANCER SURVIVORS SCHOLARSHIP FUND

SEXIEST SUNSCREEN EVER!

OF THE EXACT SAME INGREDIENTS TO MAKE THIS OUR

SUPER MEGA AMOUNTS